Suicide Prevention

Learn the clues to suicide:

Verbal:

• "You won't have to worry about me much longer."
• "It's not worth while getting up in the morning."
• "I'm going to kill myself."
• "They'll be sorry when I'm not around any longer."

Behavioral:

• Person becomes a loner.
• Increased use of drugs/alcohol.
• Lack of attention to personal habits or appearance.
• Change in sleeping/eating habits.
• Situational:
• Loss of loved one.
• Failure at school/job/goal.
• Major life change.

The Core Danger Signs

If you observe clues that lead you to suspect someone may be suicidal it is imperative that you check it out in more detail. Persons of any age in crisis may be at greater risk of making an attempt if they have:

• experienced the loss of a friend or family member, or even the threat of a loss, through serious illness, divorce, quarrel, move to another city, etc.
• experienced the loss of self esteem through failure or rejection
• made a suicide attempt or gesture in the past
• discussed or threatened suicide
• made specific plans to commit suicide
• a method at hand, e.g. pills, gun, etc.
• given away important personal possessions
• been pre-occupied with death
• known someone else who has committed suicide

It can be difficult to acknowledge clues that seem to indicate that a person you know may be planning to kill her/himself. But it can be tragic to disregard them.

How You Can Help

1. Learn the clues to suicide.
2. Encourage a person exhibiting some of these clues to talk about his/her feelings, problems, and life dilemmas.
3. Involve yourself, talk about details of the plan, but do not try to probe into the area of unconscious motivation.
4. Solicit the help of others - don't try to carry the heavy emotional weight yourself.

In most societies, suicide is still often a taboo subject, so when persons who are feeling suicidal try to talk about their feelings of desperation, hopelessness and alienation, there is often no one there who can really hear their pain.

When such feelings are shared and accepted, they can be lived with and eventually overcome. If they are ignored or denied, the person may feel no recourse but to "show the world" how serious they are about committing a suicidal act.

If someone you know is threatening suicide or showing other signs of feeling suicidal, your reaction and course of action could make the difference between life and death.

The following few steps are important to remember:

• Trust yourself. Believe your suspicions. Say something. The suicidal person may be so convinced that no one cares that she may reject your initial overtures. Be persistent. Keep saying things like: "I see what you are doing and how much you must be hurting. I'm concerned about you. I want to talk. I want to hear what's going on with you."
• Be a good listener. Communicate your concern for his well-being by offering to listen. Good listening is more than just listening quietly. It means demonstrating that you can be supportive without being judgmental. It means accepting her feelings as the truth for her, no matter how irrational they might appear to you. It means that you are comfortable enough with your own feelings to set them aside and listen to his/hers.
• Be direct. Talk about suicide and death openly. Ask the person specifically if she is thinking about suicide. It is a myth that if you talk with someone about her suicidal feelings this will encourage her to commit the act. If you are vague, the suicidal person will be vague, believing that it's not okay to talk about these subjects. Avoiding feelings does not make them go away. But allowing people to say what is already on their minds can be the first step to ending their isolation.

Once you have won a suicidal person's confidence, it is important to assess the degree of risk. Here are some key questions you might ask:

1. Have you been thinking of harming yourself? How would you do that?
2. Have you been thinking of taking your life? Do you have a plan?
3. Do you have the means available?
4. Have you ever attempted suicide in the past?
5. What has been keeping you alive so far?
6. What's your hurry? Why do it now?
7. What does the future hold in store for you?
8. Who would be most affected if you killed yourself?

In situations where you have assessed a high degree of risk, it is essential that you get professional help. It is okay to be assertive. People who are seriously suicidal are often in a highly suggestive state. If they feel your concern and clarity, they are likely to respond to your support and direction. This does not mean that you are responsible for their lives. Your task is to prepare them for further support or professional counselling.

If a friend or acquaintance requests your confidence, explore his need for secrecy. But never promise to conceal his suicidal condition. For children or youth, families must be contacted when a suicide potential arises. Once the family has been notified, then an appointment with a psychologist or a counsellor should be arranged.

Remember:

• Stay with them or arrange for someone to be there.
• Remove lethal weapons or other methods on hand.
• Get help - don't try to carry this responsibility alone.
• Above all, have the courage to act. It is worth the risk of "overreacting" if it averts a tragedy.

Suicide is not something we can leave to the experts; there are not enough experts to go around. We are all qualified when it comes to human caring.