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	Suicide Prevention Programs: • Suicide Awareness for Youth • Peer Gatekeeper Training Program Suicide Information: • Suicidal Behavior • Suicidal Crises • Suicide Prevention • Suicide Facts to Dispel Common Myths • Myths and Realities Quiz • Resources for People Feeling Suicidal Survivors of Suicide: • Survivors of Suicide Pamphlet

Survivors of Suicide Pamphlet

The death of someone close to you is one of life's most stressful events. When the death is by suicide, family and friends must cope with sadness at the loss plus all the conflicting feelings of anger, guilt, confusion, and sometimes relief that their loved one is no longer in pain. Then there are the WHY's that will never be answered.

It takes time to heal and each of us grieves in our own way. We may need help to cope with the trauma and unexpected changes in our lives. Coping effectively with our grief becomes vital to our physical and mental health.

If someone close to you has died by suicide, we hope that this information from our Survivors' pamphlet will help you, as a survivor of a suicide loss, to understand that you are not alone and that help is available.

• Why Suicide?
• Am I to Blame?
• Bereavement After a Suicide
• What About the Family?
• How Will Friends React?
• Recommended Readings & Websites
• NEED as a Resource

Why Suicide?

Approximately one in four people will know someone who has died by suicide. The deceased leaves behind a network of family and friends who have to cope with the same inner turmoil that you are attempting to understand and cope with right now.

People of all ages die by suicide; men, women and children, the rich and the poor. No one is immune to this tragedy.

Why would anyone choose to end their life? Researchers who have been searching for this answer believe that people who take their own lives have felt trapped by what they perceived as a hopeless situation. Whatever the reality, whatever amount of emotional support provided, they felt isolated and cut off from life. Even if no physical illness was present, individuals who die by suicide feel intense emotional pain, anguish, despair and hopelessness.

Am I to Blame?

No, you are not to blame. After a suicide, family and friends often revisit the pre-death circumstances and events, blaming themselves for things they think they should or should not have done. "If only I had done..." or "If only I had said or not said..."

Even though suicide is an individual decision, it is normal for the bereaved to feel tremendous guilt and sense of responsibility. For those left behind it may be a time to seek bereavement counselling or group support to work through these difficult feelings.

Bereavement After a Suicide

Grief is a process and is the work we do to come to terms with our loss. Grief is not one single emotion, but is a combination of many. Just as there are many ways to express our grief, there are many ways to come to terms with our grief.

Shock and disbelief, physical and emotional numbness, are often the first reactions. Confusion and forgetfulness are also common. Denial can be powerful and is often a necessary cushion to the full impact of the loss.

Gradually, denial gives way to feelings such as anger, guilt, shame and self-blame. Unanswerable questions arise. This is the time it may be important to ask these questions and to openly and safely express your feelings.

Experiencing many different and conflicting emotions is a natural part of the grief process. You may find yourself moving through waves of emotion while learning to understand, cope and adjust to your loss. At times you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of these feelings, but all your feelings are normal. You may feel that you are going crazy. You are not, you are in mourning.

Over time, these emotions will become less intense and you will gradually feel ready to re-enter the mainstream of life. You will not want to lose your cherished memories of the person who has died, and you won't. This is the time when many people begin to restore lost connections, make new contacts, and set new goals.

The length of time necessary to grieve will vary from person to person, so be patient with yourself and with others. The suicide grief process can be complicated and challenging. Remember, there is hope. Know that you can survive. You may not think so right now, but you can.

What About the Family?

It is important to realize that not all members of the family will grieve in the same way at the same time. Each person will need room and understanding while moving through their own grief process.

Children experience many of the same feelings of adult grief. Be honest with them about the cause of death, otherwise, they will re-experience their grief when they learn the truth. Remind them that they are still loved by sharing your thoughts and feelings with them and asking them to share theirs with you. Children may also need outside help in dealing with the death.

How Will Friends React?

Generally, friends are well meaning. They want to give support, but they may not know how. They may be afraid that they will overwhelm you or think that you want to be alone. They may be confused about what to say or do. Guide them. Telling your friends what you want and need from them will help both you and your friends support each other through this difficult time.

NEED Crisis and Information Line

Mission Statement

NEED offers a continuous, confidential, anonymous telephone service delivered through the concern and respect of professionally trained, caring volunteers.

NEED is committed to serving people by offering emotional support, crisis intervention, suicide prevention and information on community services.

If you are bereaved and feel you need more assistance than friends and family can provide, you are not alone. Help is available. NEED Crisis Line will provide 24 hours a day, 7 days a week:

immediate emotional support
community resource information
resource information on a range of bereavement support services for survivors of suicide - individuals, their families and friends.

Support is a phone call away: 386-6328 (NEED's 24 hour line) or 386-TALK (8255), (NEED's Youth Line).